As Fate Would Have It
by Stop-hating-on-my-ships
Summary: Spencer has to break Toby's heart to keep him safe. Will A put up with them, or not?


**So, I was REALLY dreading what's going to happen Monday, so I decided to write this to comfort myself, and hopefully you to. READ THE WHOLE THING. I SWEAR THERE IS NO WRENCER.**

I sat in the chair next to Toby's bed, staring at nothing. It was my fault he was here. My fault that he was broken. And in that instant, I knew what I had to do.

I walked out of the room, and almost bumped straight into Emily.

"Oh Em, thank goodness. I was just about to come looking for you. I need a favor. And you might hate me for doing it, but I am begging you. It's the only way to keep Toby safe. Please."

"Of course," said Em looking concerned. "Anything."

I winced. "Don't promise. Don't promise until you know what I say."

She looked worried. "Spence? What's wrong."

A tear ran down my cheek. "I'm going to hook up with Wren. I need you to make sure that Toby sees it." **(KEEP READING. IT'S NOT WRENCER.)**

"Spence-"

"No!" I said, a sob escaping my throat. "I can't _do _this anymore Em. I don't want to hurt him, but I don't have a choice anymore. _Please."_

She hesitated, seeing the desperation in my eyes.

"Okay. But I don't think it's a good idea."

"I know." I said weakly. "But I'm running out of options. Just- don't let me see his face. Please."

She nodded, looking sympathetic.

I looked away. "I just can't stand it Em. Knowing that I'm going to have to watch him grow up. Fall in love. Have kids. And I won't get to be a part of it. I'll always be on the sidelines. I'll always love him, but to him I'll always be the girl who dumped him for no reason. The girl who kissed him, and ditched him again. And I just can't _deal _with that Em."

She took my hand. "I'm not going to say it's okay, or that I understand, because that's not true. I'm not going to say that it's going to get better either. But I _will _say that no matter what, we are here for you."

"Thanks," I said my voice cracking. And then I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I cried, cried as if my body was breaking. But it wasn't. My heart was. Over. And over. And over. And I just couldn't take it anymore.

Emily took me in her arms, like my mother never had, with warmth. She cooed words of sympathy in my ear, letting me cry it all out.

Suddenly we heard a small cough behind us. I jerked upward, ashamed my open emotion. Hastings don't cry.

It was Toby's doctor. "He woke up, "she said softly. "One of you can see him now."

I stepped back, nodding. I gestured for Emily to go in.

She looked alarmed. "Now? Already?"

I nodded. "Better sooner than later." I turned to the doctor. "Do you know Wren Kim?"

She nodded looking confused.

"Could you tell him Spencer Hastings wants to talk to him?"

She smiled. "Sure. Also, Toby will be fine. He just had some bumps and bruises. He was unconscious because his body was in shock." **( I KNOW it's not medically correct. But for where the story's going, it's necessary.)**

Emily looked at me, smiling sadly, before slipping into the room.

I leaned against the wall, staring up at the ceiling. _My life is hell. _I thought morbidly. _What on Earth did I do to deserve this?_

"Spencer?" said a soft British accent. "Anna said you wanted to speak to me."

"Yes," I said, sucking in my sadness and doing my best to sound normal. I didn't even attempt to flirt. "I need a favor."

"Anything," he said, grinning at me. All of the sudden I was come over with an insane desire to slap that smug grin off his face. But I couldn't. Not for at least ten minutes anyway.

I glanced over his shoulder at Emily, who was talking to Toby.

I bit my lip and looked at Wren nervously.

"Spencer?" He said worriedly. "Are you all right?"

I nodded. "I need you to kiss me. But it does not mean that we are together, and it does not mean I like you, okay? Because-"

He cut me off by pressing his lips to mine.

I never thought it would be so horrible, kissing someone when you were in love with someone else. But it was. I felt terrible, and I did my best to just shut my body down, go somewhere else. I tried so hard.

But it didn't work.

Finally, I just couldn't take it anymore. I ripped my face away from Wren, and ran. Down the long hallway. Down the stairs. Out the door.

I ran all the way to my car, three blocks away. I jumped in, and let myself go. I sobbed, sobbed as if someone had died. But no one had. It was as if it was worse. It was as if I had died. And in a way, I had. When I shattered Toby's heart, I had shattered a part of myself. And even though I was doing it for his own good, a part of me would never be able to forgive myself for that.

When I'd cried myself out, I dug through my purse, looking for my phone, and called Emily.

One ring. Two rings. Three rings.

"Hello?" Emily's voice said on the other end.

"Hey Em, it's me," I said quickly.

"Oh, yeah just a sec," she said. I could hear the sound of footsteps and a door shutting.

"Okay, I left the room. What's up?"

"What do you think?" I said, my voice cracking. "Did Toby see it?"

There was a silence so long I was afraid she'd hung up.

"Yeah," she finally said quietly. Yeah, he saw it."

"Okay," I said, knowing my voice sounded funny. "I'll talk to you later."

"Okay," she said softly. And the line went dead.

I sat back in my seat. I felt like I didn't know what to do. It was one of those moments when you knew that your life would never be the same after what you'd done, and when you knew that you'd never be able to forget it.

And that's why I did it. I went downtown, intending to get drunk.

I, Spencer Hastings, wanted to get drunk.

Too bad I couldn't go through with it.

I sat outside the one bar in town that didn't ask for I.D.'s. It didn't really matter though. I still had the one Ali gave me. I'd kept it as a remembrance of her, not because I ever intended to use it. What stopped me from going in was Toby's face. I thought about what he would think of me if he knew what I was going to do. He'd be disappointed.

So I drove, and drove, and drove, not even knowing where I was going.

I realized where I was a block away from Toby's house. I didn't want him to see me, **(since he was just in shock, he got to go home)** so I got out of the car and started walking.

I didn't realize someone was following me until I was a ways away from my car. I quickly ducked into an alley, realizing too late that this was probably a bad idea. The alley was even more deserted than the street, and was much darker. I walked quickly, practically running, trying to ditch the man following me.

Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Spencer?"

"Wren!" I gasped. "God, you scared the hell out of me!"

He laughed, but it was a little different than his usual laugh. More nervous than anything.

"Spencer, I wanted to talk to you. Where no one could hear us."

The adrenaline rush from the fright he'd given me was wearing off, to be replaced by a bone-aching exhaustion. All I really wanted to do was go home, and curl up in bed while watching A Walk to Remember and eating ice cream and cry.

"This will only take a second," said Wren. Something in his voice put me on edge.

"Maybe some other time," I said slowly. "But right now I've really got to go."

He frowned. "No. I need to talk to you _now."_

I shook my head impatiently, trying to shove past him.

"Stop!" he said harshly. He grabbed my arm and pushed me into the brick wall.

"Wren!" I said indignantly. "What is your problem?"

He glared at me. "Listen to me Spencer. I am tired of this. You kiss me, and then you leave me."

I opened my mouth to say something, likely along the lines of, "Go to hell Wren," but he held up his hand.

"You don't have to say it. I know you're in love with me."

I gasped. "Wren, I am NOT in love with you. I was only kissing you so that Toby would hate me, and he'd be safe from the people trying to frame me for killing Ali."

He glared at me, then smiled. "There's no point in denying it Spence. I know you love me. It's okay to admit it. I love you too." And with that he kissed me.

It was horrible. I didn't realize what was going on at first, but when I did, I started to struggle. He just pushed me harder against the wall, so hard it hurt.

I ripped my face away from his. "Wren!" I gasped. He must've mistaken my shock for lust, because he gasped, and crashed his lips down on mine again. I squirmed, trying to get away, but he just pushed his body against mine, and ran his hands up my top.

"Wren," I gasped. "Wren, STOP."

He finally pulled away. "You're right," he agreed. "We can't do this here. Let's go back to my apartment."

"No!" I practically screeched. "Leave me ALONE! I want nothing to do with you!"

He scowled, looking furious. He reached out and grabbed my wrist tightly. "C'mon Spence, quit acting. I know you love me."

"No, I don't!" I screamed at him. "I love Toby and I always will, no matter what!"

He glared at me, holding my wrist tighter. "What is with you and him? Why can't you see that I am the better option?"

"Wren," I said desperately, only being able to think about the throbbing pain in my wrist. "Wren, please let go of my hand. You're hurting me."

He grinned, still looking angry. "Good. You deserve it. Now, c'mon Spencer. We are going to my apartment."

"No!" I screamed. Leave me _alone!_"

"He glared at me. "Dammit Spencer, what is wrong with you?" And then he pushed me. I fell onto the ground, hard.

I winced, and pain clouded my vision. I vaguely heard Wren gasping in pain. My eyes shot open. Who else was here?

Toby's face looked worriedly into mine. "Spence? Are you okay?"

I groaned, and covered my eyes. "Oh no, I really have gone insane. Now I'm seeing things."

He chuckled. "No you're not. I'm really here." Suddenly he looked angry. "What happened? Did he hurt you?"

I tear slid down my face. "No. I'm fine. How-how did you know to come?"

He raised an eyebrow. "I heard you yelling at him. I recognized your voice so I came to see what was wrong."

He sat down next to me. And then I started crying, again, for the third time that day. What was wrong with me?

He put his arm around my shoulders, and squeezed me.

After I finally stopped crying he said,

"Spence?"

"Yeah?" I sniffled.

"Did you mean it?"

"Mean what?"

He hesitated. "Did you mean it when you said you only kissed him to protect me?"

I hesitated. "Yes."

He smiled at me, and stood up. He held out a hand to help me up. I smiled, and took it.

"-and so then I said that I didn't love him, and he started kissing me."

We were sitting in his truck, and I was telling him what had happened. A tear dripped down my cheek, and he reached over and wiped it away. I just sobbed harder, and he put his arm around me, letting me cry it all out.

I sniffed. I knew this was a bad idea, but I had no choice. Toby deserved answers, and it looked like he wasn't going to stay away from me until I gave him some.

Just then I got a text.

** Well Spence darling, it looks like you aren't willing to keep Toby safe. But I'll do you a favor for trying sweetie. You can tell him about me. But if he tells, you will regret it. –A**

I took a deep breath. "Toby," I said slowly. "I think it's time I told you something."

I walked into room 215 and immediately sat down on the bed. Toby sat next to me.

I took a deep breath. "A few days before Ali's funeral, the girls and I started receiving text messages from unknown numbers. They were about stuff only Ali knew. We thought she was back. They sounded like her. Manipulative. But then her body was found. And we kept getting messages. All signed A. They started to get worse and worse. A…A made us do bad things. Things like Ali used to make us do. And then, a few weeks ago, A left us a box. Inside were dolls. We had to pull the string on the back, and it would tell us what we were supposed to do. If we didn't do what they said, then… A was going to kill Dr. Sullivan. Mine said… mine said…" I took a deep breath. "Mine said, 'keep Toby safe.' Your break lines being cut wasn't an accident. That was A. So I knew that the only way to keep you safe was to keep you away from me."

I waited, not looking at him. Waiting for him to walk away. Waiting for him to leave me, like he should.

He surprised me by catching my mouth with his. I kissed back with desperation, needing nothing more than this moment, now. He smiled against my mouth.

I deepened the kiss, moving over so my knees dug into the bed on either side of his hips. He ran his hands through my hair, before moving them down to my hips, pulling me closer to him, then flipping me over so he hovered above me.

"So," I said, astonished that I could even talk after that kiss, "I assume that you aren't mad?"

He rolled his eyes, and put his lips over mine again. I sighed into him, running my hands up his back, gasping as his hands slid under my top.

I sat up, never breaking the connection between our lips, tracing my hands over his stomach, feeling his abs twitch beneath my hand.

"Spencer…"

"Shhh…" I pressed a finger to his lips.

"Are you sure?" he mumbled around my finger.

I nodded.

He grinned, and pushed me back into the pillows.

, Spencer Hastings, wanted to get drunk.

hat your life would never be the same after what you'


End file.
